Chapter 1: Mother Dearest
Beep beep beep beep!!!
Another day, another morning, another moment I wish I could sleep in. As I lay in bed I can’t help but shiver under the layers of blankets thick comforters trying to keep me warm as the fan sends a whirlwind of icy air to my body. Like a caterpillar I create my own little cocoon. Me gusta.
My mom knocks on the door, well… more of barges in my room. “Come on get up, Chen. You’re gonna be late.”
Chen is my nickname she gave me while I was a kid, apparently Sebastian is too long to yell.
“Mom, don’t worry it’s only six fifty…Ten more minutes…
“Hmph. Fine, if you’re late not my fault. Why are you so tired anyways?! Did you stay up? Huh?! C’mon tell m-“
“Okay, okay, I’m up! I’ll be ready soon”
She leaves to go cake her face with make up, while I literally squiggle out of bed. Once off the ground I go with my usual daily routine. Quick shower with the radio on, brush my teeth as I air dry, and get some clothes on and head out the door.
The car ride to school is just as typical as and episode of Dora the Explorer, without any spanish. My mom loudly talks on her bluetooth, asks for directions to “Where are we going?!” and me singing to whatever is on the radio.
As we pull up to the school my mom finally decides to mother-son bond.
“Are you gonna be okay?” She says with a frown
“Yea mom of course, I’m always okay.” I fake the biggest smile I can to ease her, but she sees through it.
“If you need someone, I’m here. I love you alright, be good.” She gives me a small reassuring look that gives me this bitter sweet after taste.
“Bye love you mom” I close the door, and watch her drive off.
My mom is one of my biggest supports, though she pretends to be young and strong I can see how weak she is getting. Her eyes have dark circles from doing so much work at night, her hair now filling up with white hairs from so much stress. It pains me to know that she strains herself to be a good mother, wife, and friend. While all I do is probably cause more trouble. I hate being such a burden more than I already am, and I think that is why I keep to myself while I’m with family.
Especially when it comes to boy troubles, she is still disappointed that I am not the son she and my dad had raised to become. Telling her was my best accomplishments and my biggest heartbreak so far. When I told her she blamed me for her sickness, I was the reason for her stroke. She really took religion to the extreme, and my fear of dying as a way to scare me to be straight.
Luckily in the end, she let her unconditional love show. Now ’m just glad she is trying to support me, yet I know she wishes it was only a phase.
I shake off the thoughts.
Sigh…just keep my head high. Just get through the day.
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