Journal entry #132: May 23, 2010
I always knew I was bisexual, ever since I was young I could feel I was, and still am, different from the typical boys in school. While they enjoyed their sports, I enjoyed staying in class drawing kittens, and dresses. While they enjoyed throwing paper balls, I enjoyed making flower origami. Being unique was never a concern for me, although it did hurt at times.
I remember clearly like it was yesterday, I would bring my stuff Scooby-Doo to class just to be humiliated by everyone for being a baby. Scooby was the only best friend I had back then, the only one I could trust. He did not judge me at all, in fact he couldn’t, he was a stuffed animal after all. Pathetic as it seems, Teddy was everything to me. Those nights I cried hugging him, mad at the world for not being ‘normal’ for once in my young life. Being pushed down during recess in third grade was not a glass of lemonade either, nor was being known as the ‘fagot’ in middle school.
Now that I’m older, I learned to be proud and have pride in who I have grown to be. Yet there are so many more new obstacles that I need push through, just to even have a smile at the end of the day.
Thinking about it now, I rather be pushed down, and broken physically in elementary than be backstabbed and hurt emotionally in high school. I guess it is just the ups and downs of life, a learning experience that I wish to share with all one day.